Eat, Drink and Ride Horses; Trusting God & Living in the Present

I’ve always had an admiration for folks who can remember and insert into conversation a perfectly timed quote. You know those people; you most likely saw them on tv, and you know everything is scripted, but you still go ‘aw man, I wish I was that sharp”.

We’re looking at you Gilmore Girls.  

Regardless, I have an all-time favorite quote and it is because I have found it oh so relevant and helpful to me over the years. But mostly because let’s be real, it’s probably the only quote I can reliably remember beside John 3:16.

“Do not spoil what you have by desiring what you have not; remember that what you now have was once among the things you only hoped for.” – Epicurus

If you are anything like me, you read that quote and feel a bit of conviction. How often do we finally achieve something that we have been looking forward to for so long, and immediately start looking down the line again? Maybe it can start to feel like nothing is ever enough or we start to doubt the plan, ourselves, or God, because we just can’t seem to get it right.

My Own Experience – Anticipation Preoccupation

I feel like I’ve lived most of my life looking forward to the next thing with bated breath, like whatever it is that comes next is the release into what should be. I remember feeling like I was holding the reins of a hot horse; foaming, pacing, so impatient, and it’s all you can do to hold him back. I felt this so vividly for so long, I could feel the leather in my hands. This anticipation I felt for the next thing was so strong, I lived in a constant state of tension.  

When I was in university, it was looking forward to the day when I could get into my Honda Civic and drive 6 hours home to Massey, the farm, and my family. With looming deadlines for final exams, and my 30-page paper on Communist Era Chinese Revolutionary Opera (yes, that happened), all I could think about was moving to BC with my family and starting over after a hellish year. When I married Dan and we were renovating our house in town, all I could think about was not living in town. When we moved into Mom and Dad’s after having our first baby, all I could think about was living on the farm, being farm-ie.

Are you seeing a trend?

Unfortunately, it took me a long time to see one. Even now, it is so easy for me to look around and get frustrated with what I am not able to do. I live on a horse farm, and I don’t ever have time to ride. I am surrounded by nature and mountains that I never have time to explore. I am a farmer’s daughter, with no time to farm. I am a stay-at-home mom, and my house is oh so far from being Martha Stewart (the glossy magazine one, not the fraud-ie one).

But then I read a quote like this from Epicurus and think ‘what am I missing out on right now by being so focused and frustrated with getting to the next thing?’ It’s true isn’t it, that where we are now once was among the things we only hoped for. I dreamt of living on the farm, of having kids, of being married; and now that I have those things, I am still looking at what I don’t have, or worse, what others have that I do not.

From The Bible – The Birdies are Happy; Why Aren’t You?

I don’t think I’m wrong in saying that I think most of us are guilty of this, even in this day-and-age of ‘living in the present’. Today’s problems and tomorrow’s stresses are so great, it’s easy to look forward to the next happening, or expectation of one, and think ‘that will change things.’

But when I look back on my seasons in life, I can clearly see times that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, even if it was difficult. For all the heart ache I experienced in university, it showed me exactly where I wanted to be; and that wasn’t the place that I had originally thought when I left home. For all the blood, sweat, and so many tears that came with our first house, it gave us the finances to start our business. For all the pain and frustration that came with the world’s most colicky baby, it showed me how much work I needed to do on myself to be better for our kids.

And there was also tremendous joy too! Having our little reno house full of people’s voices enjoying a meal together or sitting in the sun in my favorite chair reading by the big front window are memories I cherish. And as hard as our first 6 months as parents were, I can still remember the feeling of that little bundle, finally fast asleep in my arms while Dan and I ate milkshakes and watched Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee.

The writer of Ecclesiastes talks about this in a verse we most often associate with Pete Seeger:

“1 For everything there is a season, a time for everything under heaven. 2 A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. …

9 What do people really get for all their hard work? 10 I have seen the burden God has placed on us all. 11 Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. 12 So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can. 13 And people should eat and drink and enjoy the fruits of their labor, for these are gifts from God.” – Ecclesiastes 3:1, 9-13

I don’t think the point of this verse is to espouse some sort of ‘eat, drink and merry for tomorrow we die’ mentality. The purpose I get from it is that the things we face, the troubles, the frustrations, are simply seasons no matter how long they last. And who knows what tremendous gain is to be found in the period that you are currently living in, as it says in verse 11; ‘Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time ... people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end.’ 

While I have great memories from those seasons in life, I can’t help but wonder how much joy I sacrificed by not being satisfied with where we were at. Jesus says: 

26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? … 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own. – Matthew 6:26-27, 34 

God asks us to trust Him; with right now, with our future, with our dreams, with our stresses and troubles. Only God knows what today is preparing me for in the future, but by trusting Him with our worries and stresses today we exercise our faith in Him bit by bit. And so, isn’t it wise to lean into the season that we are currently in, instead of constantly looking forward to some unknown future?

I am certainly not saying that you shouldn’t plan; if you saw the door of my fridge, you would know that I live by lists and calendars. Meal planning baby, it’s the bomb! But what is my frustration and anger over not being able to ride as much as I want, or have the vehicle that I like, or the lifestyle that I dream of really accomplishing? It’s robbing me of the joy in everyday moments right now. It’s putting my focus on things I can’t control instead of focusing me on the lesson I should be learning right now. It’s saying I know better than God and not trusting Him with my future. Ouch.

The long and short of it is that I must trust God that if I am faithful with what He has given me, He can provide a future for me that I never could have dreamed of. Because if I had never encountered the trials that I face today, myself and my faith would not have had the opportunity to grow into what it needs to be for something even better. 

The Takeaway, and I’m Still Waiting for the Horse-ie Part.

Are there areas in your life where you aren’t embracing what you’re encountering right now, because you are so fixated on what should or could be? What if we applied some of this to our equestrian life as well? Training always comes with its rewards and challenges. But are you sacrificing some of the joy that you could be experiencing with your horse because you are frustrated with his lack of progression? I know I have felt frustrated in the past with a horse because we are still freaking out over that puddle, we’re still not nailing that side pass, we’re still not doing the stuff that that person is doing.

I am not a health care professional, and sometimes our worry goes beyond what we can manage ourselves and takes more of the form of anxiety. If this is your struggle it may be helpful to talk to your doctor or a counsellor to get more help. And likewise with your equestrian life. Sometimes we just get stuck and need help from an outside source, a trainer or a trusted friend, to help us tackle the problems we are dealing with. If our frustration is mounting to the point that riding doesn’t have the same joy that it once had, isn’t it worth the investment?

Evelyn & the most-miniature mini, Star.

This may seem like a radical thought, but sometimes perhaps we are mismatched with our equestrian partner. If we believe that horses have their own natural abilities, personalities, and maybe even interests, doesn’t it make sense that sometimes we can be at odds with each other? I might want my horse to be a super ranch horse, but what if he hates cows? Our miniature horse, Star, is perfect for our kids right now; she is giving them the opportunity to learn without having to be afraid of the size of a bigger horse, or the attitude of a Shetland. But our kids will outgrow Star, both in size and ability, soon enough.  

I think anyone would agree that to keep our kids on Star longer than necessary is obviously not fair to Star or the kids. They will both eventually get frustrated with each other, and the kids will just be too big for her to be considered humane. But don’t we do this? We know that we aren’t getting what we need from our horse, or that they aren’t getting from us what they need, but we hang on to them anyway. Sometimes because there isn’t any other option, but I think a lot of the time we feel like we are betraying them.

We do have a responsibility for the welfare of our horses; but I don’t think we are unappreciative of our horses if we move on to something else because we are mismatched, or worse putting ourselves in harm’s way. Our kid’s abilities will outgrow Star, probably before their bodies will. When that day happens Star will either go back to her previous home or be retired. But I will always appreciate that that little horse gave my kids the opportunity to love horses and learn to ride safely and without fear. Such lessons can be garnered from any of our horses I believe, no matter how long they stay with us for.

I am certainly no expert in any of this and trusting God with my dreams and my future while I focus on what’s in front of me is something I must be constantly mindful of. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing. I think lessons this big, like trusting God, are not a one-time master class exercise. They are a daily practice. What happens in the future is up to God; but letting frustration rob me of joy is entirely up to me.

• Leah